do onto others...

.. as others do onto you.

I want to be a pensioner! Some day.

The trouble with being self-employed (one of the troubles) is that it is not an automatic certainty that you will ever reach that glorious state of existence. You have to arrange it for yourself. I am not very much at home in financial talk in my own language, so I am not sure where to start explaining in English. Lets say I am like a squirrel and have hidden a few pumpkin seeds with different squirrel life policy banks. But as of this year, there is this new thing, a pension arranged by the labour union for self employed squirrels. Unlike other mediators working for banks and insurance companies they don't aim to make a profit, so it has much better cost-effect. I want it.

I called the ensurance companies where I pumpkined my pumpkin seeds. They generoulsly admitted to have been robbing me, charging high costs for keeping my pumpkin seeds for me. Basically they are eating one-third of my pumpkin seeds, on the feeble excuse that I would have to pay them in woodpeckeres anyway, if they did not relieve me of my heavy load. Disregarding the fact that my income is not that high, and I don't pay that much woodpecker. They then congratulated me on the fact that I now have the possibility to give my pumpkin seeds in keeping with a non-profit organization and they offered to send me a quote for the cost of freezing my nut pumpkins (discontinuing to add pumpkin seeds each month) or to even transfer the nut pumpkin to be combined with another one, bringing them all together with one company. Of course there would be costs for the pumpkin seeds that were going to be moved. But they assured me that if the Labour Union are licensed to act as a mediator to open insurance policies, they will be able to do this for me.

It seemed a good idea to take another policy with the Labour Union Nutkeepers and combine my other pumpkin seeds into that same pumpkin even if that means losing some now, because it is certain I am going to completely forget about some of them later. It will more or less even out. I wrote this little note:

Dear Labour Union,

I would like to open a nut pumpkin with your Union pension fund. At this time I have two pumpkins of pumpkin seeds with other companies. Would it be possible to unite these with my new pumpkin into one single imperial Union nut pumpkin?

Sincerely, etc.

They wrote back:

Dear madam,

It is not possible to combine your pumpkin seeds into one Union pumpkin.
We trust to have sufficiently informed you.

Regards, The Labour Union

That was it. Not a word more or less. I am so baffled. How dare they say no! I wonder if this response is typical for a non-profit organization. I also wonder, if the person who wrote this knows what they are doing, because they don't give a reason for their impertinent refusal. I think I am going to have to rephrase my request:

Dear sir, madam,

I would like to open a pension policy with the Union. At this time I have two other pension trusts with different companies. I would like to bring them together in one Union pension policy. Please inform me how I can do this.

Thank you in advance.


Or maybe I should stick with the highway robbers. At least they seem to know what they are doing.