This morning I called my cousin, and was told that her husband - my boss - fell and has "broken his back in three places" and that "their children (you know who you are) are all sick" but everything else is fine, she is looking forward to seeing me at the party in the UN headquarters tonight, he is in the shower, he will call me back later.
He is not in a wheelchair! (...)
After the initial shock and calling back an hour later I hear that he slipped on ice and three chips off one of his vertrebrae broke off. It sounds extremely scary and painful, and I sure hope he doesn't fall again, but fortunately not as bad as my first impression!
I must go out now and get myself a pair of pincers (the blow-up mirror in the bathroom tells me I have a beard) and while I am at the drugstore maybe I can get my boss a bandaid for his broken back.