recycling...

The microwave is my old one, since it still worked, I thought it was a shame to throw it out only because a new one would look nicer. It is very old. It was given to me second hand by a girlfriend eight years ago, and it wasn't exactly new even then.

The oven is new. Even though the old one still worked it was so dirty and crooked, and possibly even older than the microwave. But yesterday when I had finally connected a plug to the power chord, the NEW oven didn't work! First I was sure I was being punished for throwing out something that still fuctioned. Then I blamed the cheap plug I got for 89 cents and thought I should have gone for the expensive rubber ones. Then I thought I might have connected the wires wrong, I mean.. yellow and green is Earth, right? Blue is Neutral, brown is the Phase, and earth goes in the middle? Although brown is definitely more of an Earthy color... To be absolutely sure I tried another plug and taking one off another appliance would have the added advantage of being able to copy the correct way of connecting the wires. As it happens the only plug that could be unscrewed was the one from my fathers old drill. That drill still works. It only has one speed, and it is useless as a screw driver, but I use it every time the battery of my screw driver drill is run out, which is pretty often. I have no idea how old the drill is, but it screwed the second part of my plan completely, because the chord of the drill has different colors wiring. It has blue in the middle, and black and white on the poles. I had to assume blue used to be earth when they made it. But when I connected the plug to the chord of the oven with yellow and green in the middle, the oven still did not come on. Nothing came to life, not even the light bulb.

I hate giving up. Next, I tried everything you can imagine. I switched the blue wire to the middle. I pulled the oven out on the floor, screwed open the back to see if the power was well connected inside (it was), and finally I even did what you always tell your kids not to do and put the naked blue and brown wire each in one of the holes of the electric socket. Nothing. Not even a huge flame and an explosion and myself sizzling away in a small pile of scorched flesh. Then I realized I might have been dead if I had succeeded, and finally gave up.

This morning I called the manufacturer of the oven and told them: the oven doesn't do anything, at first I thought it was the plug... but they said they were sure it wasn't the plug. That is when I knew everything was going to be allright. However, I still don't know how the oven works. I know now that it has been put on "manual", and that sometimes when I turn the knobs next to the clock in the center of the oven face, the light inside will go on, and the heating element may fire up, depending on the selected settings of the dial on the left. I still don't exactly know what makes it happen. Preparing a pizza is like cracking a safe. But the oven works. At irregular intervals, totally at random, it reminds me of this happy circumstance by ringing a bell. Like a small cuckoo clock or a passing cyclist, it goes "Ting.. ting... ting..."